13 of my best writing tips (for emails, essays, books and beyond)

With 33 years under my belt, I was shocked to realize I had some wisdom to share. I started writing this for my kids, but then figured I'd share it with all of you.

I’ve never understood some people’s desire to snoop in their host’s bathroom pharmacy. For me, that voyeuristic itch is scratched by peering at someone’s bookshelf.

And if you were to come stare into mine, you’d find a LOT of what I call “writer porn”.

These are books, essays and articles on creativity, creative angst and the spaces and rituals writers use to help them do what we do.

I find it deeply satisfying to know that there isn’t any one way to do anything. So when you read through the rest of this post, know that there aren’t rules. Think of them as little amuse-bouche, treats to whet your appetite or open up your imagination.

So let’s get started:

1. Write as often and in as many ways as possible: There are many professional writers who have elaborate rituals around their writing practices - candles, a special desk, needing to dress up for work, etc. Since I’m a homeschooling, working mom with chronic fatigue, I can’t afford to be precious about my writing. I try to write anywhere and everywhere. On my laptop, on my phone, in journals, on little notepads, etc. More details below.

2. Read a LOT: Stephen King once said, “Show me a writer who’s better than me and I’ll show you a writer who’s better read.”

3. Keep a swipe file for emails: I have a special folder in my inbox for emails that evoked strong emotion in me or that made me take some sort of action (click, buy, etc). I file them away so that when I’m sitting down to write an email of my own, I always have inspiration and a sort of template to build from.

4. Read writer porn (but not too much): Exploring how other creatives approach some of the challenges you face tends to stock your toolkit with ideas and solutions that it might have taken you years to discover. Just don’t use this kind of reading as a procrastination technique.

5. Listen to your procrastination: I have come to realize that when I’m procrastinating on an important or exciting project, it’s usually because my subconscious is trying to protect me from something.
   
   Recently, I found myself dragging my feet on the journaling book I’m writing - and I realized that I had positioned it all wrong. My research had told me that no one wanted to buy books on journaling (there are literally hundreds out there and yet all the people I surveyed seemed to think there weren’t any other than Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”).
   
   

   

   
   
   I listen to the voice of my procrastination by journaling - I simply write out my thoughts around what I’m doing and why I feel stuck and why I think I’m not wanting to proceed. And that’s how I realized that my subconscious had a point. I have completely re-racked the positioning of my book and it’s now about “what to do when your reality breaks and nothing makes sense any more”. And journaling is one of the main tools I use for self exploration in this place.

6. If distracted, consider noise cancelling headphones: A decade ago, I purchased a pair of Bose Quiet Comfort noise cancelling headphones. I’ve worn them so much I literally had to replace the ear pads (which cost $20 on Amazon and basically made my set feel brand new!). I use an app called Mind.Fm and play focus music and because I’ve done it so many times, my body kinda gets into a flow state more times than not when I place my headphones over my ears. It’s as close to a ritual as I’m willing to get. I use it when doing deep work or when I feel like I am distracted.

7. Get a writing group: There are lots of writing groups online and I recommend Chad Allen’s Book Camp - it’s about $50/m and they have lots of “write with me” style zoom calls and a Facebook group and a huge directory of trainings on how to write a book proposal, how to market your book, how to build platform if you’re an unknown, etc. I’m a paying member and have gotten a lot of value out of it. (If you use the link provided to sign up, I might receive a small commission at no extra cost to you).

   
   That said, I think that having a small in-person group of folks who match your level of skill and commitment can be rocket fuel. I’m just building my own and I’m genuinely loving the intimacy of face-to-face meetings.
   
   

   

8. Read at the level you want to write at: If you want to write poetry, you want to read poetry that’s written at the level you aspire to get to. If you want to be a better marketer, sign up for newsletters and start studying them for how they do to you what you want to do to your own readers. If you want to write memoir, get a library card and max that bad boy out reading how the best storytellers lay themselves bare.
   
   One of my personal faves for gorgeously written memoir-ish essays (by someone who’s also a master copywriter and email ninja) is Tarzan Kay’s Led by Stories. If you haven’t already read her piece called “tenderoni kink” go over there RIGHT NOW! You can thank me later.

9. Figure out your ideal number of projects to work on: Each of us has a Goldilocks number of projects that will keep us creatively challenged and inspired without overwhelming us. I find that for me, I need to write 2 books at a time. This way, if I get stalled on one, I can always hop over onto the other, so I never get writer’s block. Of course, as I near the finish line of a particular project, I might go all in on it, but at the early stages, I find 2 is my magic number. I tried 3 but I felt frazzled. Find your own number.

10. Honour ideas by writing them down: I keep a note on my iPhone with all the various ideas I get for other projects (books I want to write, Substack columns, etc) so that I can honour the energy of the idea without getting distracted from what I’m doing. Once in a while an idea will have so much momentum, I can bang it out in my “free time”. This is rare, but it can happen.
    
    To make sure you’re prepared so that you can capitalize on it, you want to do what billionaire Sara Blakely does and just note down ideas when they come to you - even if you never intend on acting on them. It’s a way of keeping the ideation engine going.
    
    

    

    
    

11. Make friends in real life: No one becomes uber successful alone. So even if you, like me, seldom leave the house, reach out to writers you admire via email or social media and share how their work inspired you and how you’re putting their ideas to use. Be that dork that asks to connect and to be friends, but always think of some way you can add value to the other person so it’s worth their while.
    
    Oh, and if they do give you advice, honour that by following up and telling them how you implemented it and how it has positively affected you. Send flowers and chocolate. Take notes on what they most want and send them article links or books in the mail that will help them. Make them feel special - almost no one does this these days.

12. Make notes all the time: This plays with point #1 where I talk about writing a lot and writing often. Life hands you endless storytelling fodder - you just have to train your eye to see it. In a creative writing class I teach at our local homeschool centre, I had the kids carry a little notebook in their pocket (you could also use your phone) and jot down an “observation” a day.
    
    An observation is something - it could be a snippet of overhead dialogue, a funny sign you see, a quote that makes you think, a predicament or dilemma, etc. Literally anything that makes you feel like you want to write or that it could be the subject line or opening line for an essay or chapter - anything goes. Sometimes you won’t know the final destination of it right away and that’s okay. If you find it interesting, write it down.
    
    I want to acknowledge that there is friction - you need to pause the conversation and write the thing down or pull out your phone during phone-free time (this is why I recommend a notebook). You do also have to remember to refer back to said notebook when it’s time to write. This is a practice and a habit and it takes time to build. Which is why I tell the kids to do an observation per day. Try it for 30 days. It’s what David Sedaris does and look how his writing career turned out.

13. Consider starting a Zettelkasten: If you’re someone like me that is interested in all kinds of seemingly unrelated things and loves to connect the dots between them, consider using the zettelkasten method. The best book I’ve read on this topic is called How to take Smart Notes by Sönke Ahrens. But I quite liked this video on the topic and it gives you a good overview.

    
    What I basically do is this: when I’m struck by an idea from a book or movie or conversation, I open a note in Obsidian (the app I use - though the inventor of this method used paper index cards). I write down my thoughts in my own words and then I think about what other existing topic in my zettelkasten is linked to this one.
    
    Over time, you end up creating these really intricate connections between totally unrelated topics based on how they have caught your imagination.
    
    What I love about this method is that it allows you to squirrel away fascinating ideas (again, in your own words, so you can literally copy paste ideas while writing a piece) without having to pre-decide how and where you’re going to use them. The system kinda acts as an external brain and shows you how you connect dots. It’s fascinating and has helped me save tons of time when writing in-depth pieces like this one.
    
    Again, there is friction when it comes to putting down the book you’re reading and opening up the file to make a note. So the one meta takeaway from all this is that if you want writing to get smoother, better and easier when you’re sitting down to do it formally, you might want to consider doing a lot more informal, on the fly writing so that you’re never starting from scratch.
    
    Okay it’s your turn - what tips do you have to share? Were there any from the list above that you found particularly useful? Tell me in the comments!